You don't have asthma, your pregnant
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
