sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
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