try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize