Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(419): View more from Ohio

with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace

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(810): View more from Michigan

I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.

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(302): View more from Delaware

seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.

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(773): View more from Illinois

You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.

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(347): View more from New York

I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY

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