And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
