i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
