If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
