His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
