i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
