hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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