yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize