So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
