Your dad touched me again.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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