my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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