Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
