after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
