I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
