She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
