I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
