Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
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