I hope mine doesn't look like that
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
false alarm, still single
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