everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
