After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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