I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
