since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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