My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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