Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
