That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
