i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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