But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I just want nice things and good sex
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
