I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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