I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
