we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
