I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
