Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
