You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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