dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
