How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
