So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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