please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
