Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
