I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
