At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize