Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
