I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
