the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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