So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
