I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
