How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
