i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
