woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
His hands were made for my vagina.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
