What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
