I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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