Please, let me fuck your mom
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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