I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
