you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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