I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
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