Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
The Olympian is in my bed
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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