Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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