I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
