there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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